Time to get real here. The last year didn’t go how I imagined it would. Ten months ago my husband moved out. He’s recently become a little more candid with the fact that I’ve been cheated on. Two months ago, he filed for divorce. I’ve suffered from depression, anxiety, and more. I weigh more right now than I ever have in my life. I don’t sleep and I’m tired ALL OF THE TIME. I’m going to school full time AND working full time. I have two teenagers, my son just started driving, blah blah blah….the list could go on and on.
But you know what? It’s okay. I’m okay.
I’ve been evaluating and sorting and trying to figure out all of the processes of grief in my head. But here’s the thing. I like me. I may not be happy with what I see in the mirror but I have the power to fix that part and I really like who I am.
I am beyond blessed. I have the most amazing friend a girl could have. Over twenty years she’s been beside me. She has seen all of my mistakes, all of my stupid choices, all of my successes and losses and she loves me anyway. I have beautiful children with kind hearts and brilliant minds and I couldn’t be more proud of them. I have a great job that supports my need to go to school and become a better me. I also have a support system that no one can imagine unless you know them.
The best part? I know exactly who I am and what I want. I am a strong, beautiful, real, spiritual woman who is trusting in and loved by God.
The last chapter of my life may not have been exactly how I would have written it but the next one is a blank page and I am writing my fingers off. A song very near and dear to my heart says “I’ve always had wings, I’m finally ready to fly.”
I’m not just ready, friends, I am flying.
Michelle Phillips Writes 